I’m Gonna Miss “King Ralph”

Ralph “King Ralph” Klein – photo courtesy CTV

I must admit, I’m clueless when it comes to politics, and my views are so far off in Right Wing politics that I’m practically sitting outside the stadium. My views are so extreme on most topics, I refuse to talk to anyone but a few close friends about them. I’ve always said if I ruled the world, I’d be the worst dictator imaginable.  I’d put people in their place and wouldn’t be afraid to tell people exactly what was on my mind.

That’s probably why I’m going to miss Alberta Premier Ralph Klein. Not because I have the same views as he, but because he’ll tell you to your face where to go and how to do it. He’s not afraid of his opinions, and is not afraid to take a pie in the face (literally) over his often bizzare opinions.

Klein has taken the province of Alberta out of debt, created huge surpluses… heck, each Albertan even got a $400 provincial surplus bonus last spring because the province was so wealthy from oil and gas. He’s done so many good things for our province, but people hate him because he has a loose tongue. I completely don’t understand why.

Klein’s wit has been so infamous that he’s spawned several sites with his quotes. Sites such as ThinkExist.com, BiteSizeCanada… even CTV has a section called “The Loose Tongue of Ralph Klein”. He’s given protestors the finger, taken a pie in the face at a Stampede breakfast, complained that the handicapped were abusing their provincial benefits, and thrown a health policy brocure in a tirade that nearly hit a legislature page. He told ranchers to shoot, shovel and shut up if they found mad cow disease in their live stock, blamed the ice age on “dinosaur farts” and showed up drunk off his rocker at a homeless shelter and told them all to get jobs.

Really, what’s not to love about Ralphie?!

I turned on the news every night just to hear what Ralph Klein had done or said this time. And I was quite upset when he announced he was being forced to step down. He told it like it was and I cringe to think of what politician will take over his job.

Among my favorite Ralphisms are:

“Edmonton isn’t really the end of the world — although you can see it from there”

– Somewhat of Calgary inside joke. We call Edmonton ‘Deadmonton’ because even though it’s the provincial capital, there’s nothing to do there besides go to the West Edmonton Mall, the largest mall in western Canada.  That, and our hockey teams hate each other.

“A fine city (Calgary) with too many socialists and mosquitoes. At least you can spray the mosquitoes.”

–Ah, curse those socalists